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Biography
What they are saying about "A Life of Unlearning"
Having a Positive Impact on People from All Backgrounds
After reading your book, I feel compelled to make contact with you to thank you for enlightening my world and I can confidently say changing it forever. My future of 'unlearning' has begun thanks to you. You are truly a wonderful inspiring human being bringing awakening and happiness to all who are touched by your life.
From Janet (a Christian mother in whose son had to leave the church and his marriage of 3 years after accepting he was gay).
THANK YOU for your total honesty and willingness to put it all out there without fear of what people will say, because you now know who you are.
Reading your book about your struggles is like reading my son's life. The rejection of those you have come to trust as friends and the exclusion from a sanctuary that had been a 'safe place' is a most devastating and destructive thing. Our son is living his own story now.
Angela from Darwin (mother with a 22 year old gay son)
My mum sent me a copy of your book 'A Life Of Unlearning'. I was really blown away by it. I grew up in a Pentecostal AOG church. By the age of 13 I was quite heavily involved in the youth group By 17 I was leading worship in our services and several groups within our youth ministry. It was also at 17 during a revival meeting my Pastor prophesied over me to finish school and enter Bible College.
At 22 everything with the church hit the fan, the and things were quite horrible for a long time. Eventually I was just too worn out to bother any more - I left. I've carried a lot of hurt and anger towards those who told me I was loved only to abandon me when I most needed friends and support.
The final chapters of your book broke my heart! I had to put it down almost every paragraph to refocus my puffy red eyes. But somewhere between you saying "Something died in me that day". I had a moment where something inside me wanted not to be broken anymore. For the first time I wasn't convincing myself that I was loved and valued and that everything was OK. I actually knew it.
Matthew (Angela’s son)
London
Wow! Thanks for writing your book.
My name is Trish, I am 46, heterosexual, married with 2 kids. My 12 year old son was at an Anglican / Uniting Church school in Adelaide. His teacher in this first year was a member of the AOG. I was not impressed when after about 4 weeks, he came home asking why all homosexuals will burn in hell. About the age of 15 he became more and more anxious about his salvation and developed an extremely irrational fear of going to hell. He became psychotic (very scary), and had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital where he was medicated to calm him down.
His psychiatrist attributes this 'breakdown' to the very aggressive and negative Christian teaching of this teacher. My son was spiritually abused.
Your book has given me some insight and some much needed healing.
Trish
I bought your book on a Friday and had devoured it by Sunday afternoon! Your journey touched me, it saddened me, made me laugh out loud at times, and ultimately inspired me. Your journey has also inspired me live more consciously and proudly as a gay man, to do more to help society to accept and celebrate us as gay people. Thank you for such a wonderful and brave book.
Yours sincerely,
Adrian
I have just finished reading your book. I am stunned, moved and about to cry! Your story mirrors my own in so many, many ways. I could hardly believe what I was reading. I have been married for 20 years, and have been a homosexual all this time. I have 3 wonderful boys and am currently director of a theatre company but am stepping out of leading it due to my church's pressure on me because of being involved sexually with other men. Oh God...it is terribly complicated.
Bill from Toronto (after 30 years of fighting his homosexuality has decided to finish his marriage and be true to himself his wife and children)
I'm 63... I wept as I read your first chapter. I, too, have fought the battle. I left the gay life in '76 and lived a Christian celibate life up till last year. I just couldn't stand the loneliness any longer. Now I'm sick; STD related... waiting for the results of the blood work. Will my sin soon be exposed? OMG... I don't think I could stand it.
I trust your book has hope for men like me.
Regards,
George from Canada
Like you I travelled the religious pathway becoming a Baptist Minister and in 2000 making my exodus from marriage, ministry and community upon the declaration of my being gay. At 43 years old I attempted suicide. I believed that I was a worthless abomination to God.
For so long I agonised and remained in my marriage. My youngest two children are unwilling to even talk with me. I understand their feeling of betrayal. My ex-wife now is even more vitriolic. Only now do I walk on a slow and cautious path of healing with my oldest son who expects his first child in September. The arrival of new life has opened up a new understanding and tolerance within him.
When the time is right I plan to give your book to my oldest son. There are so many similarities that it may be powerful for him. I still feel overwhelmed at the level of acceptance, care, and genuine support I have enjoyed since leaving the church by those the church would condemn. Such irony!
I hope one day my partner & I can shake your hand personally in appreciation . . . . . . perhaps under the mirror ball in the RHI?
Regards,
Rick
I downloaded Chapter 1 of 'A Life of Unlearning'. My heart was deeply touched. I am married, but also gay and a Christian. I commend you for your courage. I couldn't possibly face and go through what you have gone through. What I fear most is what will happen to my family should I ever be 'outed'. I couldn't bear to see them hurt.
I love my family deeply and don't want to lose them. Yet my very actions could possibly destroy my family. What do I do?
Nikko (Japan)
It is a superb book...absolutely gripping... I didn’t want it to end. I found it so profound that I have already promised to buy numerous copies for peoples' b'days!!! I know this book will touch lives.
Steve (ex Pentecostal minister from Adelaide)
What a beautiful book! Thank you for writing such an honest and honouring autobiography. I was really moved, intrigued and validated in my own journey of repression as an ex-Pentecostal Christian. The spirit of love in which the book was written and the love and acceptance of your daughters were the highlights for me. I couldn’t put it down. It made me cry.
And in the end, Love Wins!!
Susan
I've just finished your book. Like you I have had to find my sense of self...its been a very rewarding experience and I do wish it had been available some years earlier.
Phill
(Brisbane)
I bought your book on Friday and spent the next day and a half reading it solidly, at times in tears reflecting upon my own struggles.
I was a Principal at a Christian School and elder in a Baptist church, married with 2 gorgeous daughters, all the while struggling to overcome and remove the pain of my homosexuality. I came to realise as you did, that the most valuable gift we can give ourselves is the gift of self acceptance.
Thank you for having the courage to record your story, and being so honest in doing so, even when that meant including all the bits we'd sometimes like to leave out. I am sure it will encourage and help many men, who through years of conditioning still believe the gay part of their lives is in some way evil. Reading your story affirmed how proud I am to be gay!
Matt
My name is George, I am 25, from Greek Orthodox and Conservative, Christian South African background.
Thank you for writing your book 'A Life of Unlearning'. I couldn’t put it down until I finished reading it! After reading your book I guess I felt a little less alone, and helped me view life much more positively - for that I just want to say thank you.
George from Brisbane
Bravo Anthony
What a wonderful read. I relate to so much of what you talk about. I faced the same cycles of "falling" and the guilt and repentance that followed all through my youth. Your book has been important to me in revisiting and facing my decision, and an inspiration by articulating so well the thoughts I have never expressed.
Lloyd
Melbourne
Reading your book at this time in my life has been a wonderful inspiration - right time, right place, and right openness. As you succinctly put it: In any difficult or tragic situation, if you look deeper, you may find you’ve unknowingly been given something of great value. Thank you.
Peter
It's 6am and I've just finished reading your book, which I was unable to put down. Thank you so much for writing about your really quite extraordinary life with such vividness and emotional candour, and for the message of hope that underpins it.
Steve from Paddington, Sydney
After buying your book I read it in 2 sittings and felt that yours is a story that had to be told. Thank you for a moving and relevant story.
Troy
I'd like to congratulate you on your book 'A Life of Unlearning'. It had me completely spellbound until I finally turned the last page. You have an incredibly amazing story which has given you a privileged insight into identity issues and belief systems.
Peter (heterosexual Christian)
Purchase 'A Life of Unlearning'
Free download of Chapter 1 PDF