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Biography
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'A Life of Unlearning' Anthony Venn-Brown New Holland Publishers |
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What the Sydney Morning Herald had to say:
Just recently I had the pleasure of meeting Anthony Venn Brown in Brisbane. Tony was a keynote speaker at a conference I attended and had mentioned his book A Life of Unlearning. Being impressed with his presentation, I purchased his book and briefly spoke with him. Having read it, I was moved to write this review.
By way of disclosure, I am closely involved in gay issues as the father of a gay son. I act as the Gold Coast Convener for PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, a family support group. Anthony Venn Brown is gay but his `coming out' is a remarkable human interest story.
I found his book to be alternately heroic, foolish and overwhelmingly revealing. There is scarcely a page that does not engage you personally. Some will find Tony's story disturbing and confrontational on many fronts and others will find it liberating and an example of the triumph of the individual human spirit.
Tony does not portray himself as a hero but the book does have heroes, in particular his former wife Helen, who leaps out of the pages as a truly remarkable woman. It would be an honour to be her friend.
Anthony Venn Brown grew up in Sydney as the darling youngest child within a staid and morally upstanding Anglican family. He took some advantage, as a child, of his favoured status as is the wont of precocious children. He fumbled his way into his first sexual experience around the age of 13 with another boy. That in itself is unremarkable as various data from psychological studies have shown. Many boys have their first sexual experiments with other boys. As he grew into his teens the attraction to other males became stronger and his urges led him into various unsafe practices. This was the mid-60s and AIDS was unknown.
Confiding his homosexual adventures, which were causing him personal anguish, to a trusted neighbour finally led him to admit his homosexuality to his mother. Putting him into therapy was her response and the circumstances were kept from his father.
At the same time Tony was developing a deep and abiding interest in the Bible and a Christian life. He experimented with various mainstream religions much to his Anglican parents discomfort and finally found a place within Pentacostalism. Believing that he was called to ministry he managed to pay for tuition at a Bible college in New Zealand. Torn by his homosexual urges he took refuge in a platonic friendship with a young lady who was also going to attend the college. Believing that a life of faith would free him from his sexual demons he threw himself into his studies and was an able student with a budding gift for evangelism.
Returning to Australia after graduation, his life became punctuated by homosexual dalliances that filled him with remorse and loathing even while he built his career as a preacher. Finally admitting his situation to his church elders he went through a series of corrective experiences that are difficult to reconcile with any idea of a Christian fellowship. Exorcisms, physical beatings, deliberate public humiliation were some of the things that he endured because he felt that God was calling him. His confidence in his ìcureî from homosexuality by God's grace was unshakable and he exhibited steely determination to see everything through even to the point of undergoing a 40 day fast that would emulate Jesus.
It seemed therefore that God finally had answered his prayers when he met and fell deeply in love with his future wife, Helen. Marrying in some haste, he was thankful that he could love his wife and consummate their union. Two beautiful daughters were born and with the unstinting support of his wife and the blessing of the Assemblies of God church he became an itinerant preacher.
Their life of faith showed a remarkable reliance on God's providence and miraculous and fortunate events ensured that they managed to pay bills and put food on the table. The just-in-time and just-enough miracles seemed to confirm that they were on the right path.
However, eventually, the homosexual feelings returned. The cycle of guilt and loathing, prayer and confession started again. However, it had no deleterious effect on his ministry. In fact, Tony became a leading preacher in the Assemblies of God church. He travelled the world, preaching to thousands and he developed and gave seminars that were booked out many months in advance.
Finally after one life-changing homosexual experience in Brisbane, Tony had reached the end of the road for his double life. Of his own volition, he returned home and confessed everything to his wife and eventually to his church and its leaders. He was stripped of his licence to preach, he lost his income and finally his self-respect and dignity when he was made to stand in front of his own church congregation and confess his sin of adultery. The only thing that was spared him was that he did not have to confess his homosexuality though that news spread via gossip quickly enough. His marriage eventually collapsed though his wife heroically stood by him for as long as she could, in fact, for as long as he would allow her to.
The final chapters of the book deal with how his coming out affected his family and with his slow journey to rediscovering himself as a person of worth and dignity. It explores his quest for a meaningful love and a life partner. The only disappointment, albeit a minor one, was the absence of an in-depth examination of the dichotomy between Christianity's view of homosexuality and his life experience. Tony deals only superficially with reconciling his life as a gay man with the Christianity that he knows intimately. This perhaps is not surprising as the book primarily and graphically grapples with the personal drama and responses of all the participants. The Assemblies of God church does not come out of this book kindly but it would be unfair to make any overt criticism of AOG as the same type of reaction would undoubtedly come from other churches.
This is not a book for the squeamish or prudish, nothing is held back. However, for those who want to understand human frailty, courage and personal redemption within the context of being a gay man it is an invaluable resource. I highly recommend it.
Roger Fedyk - Sydney Morning Herald - http://www.smh.com.au
Purchase 'A Life of Unlearning'